016 Start afresh
Seems like I haven't been writing for years. I bet it is.
I've given myself a time limit to stay in this 'healing mode' until the end of July. And then, I will start from the very beginning to find myself.
Whoever has been close to me already knew that we've broken up, except my family because I don't know how to tell them and don't know how to answer the series of questions that they might going to ask. It's already a month. Even though he said he told me the real reason why he wanted a break up, but I still don't buy that. You know, women have their sixth sense and I just got that feeling that the reason doesn't sound right. Whatever it is, it's just gone. It's ended. And there's no much to talk about.
I know I shouldn't have still pacing around here and holding grudge on that ridiculous break up (it's ridiculous to me), I should have just move on but honestly it's hard to let go. It's a one and a half year relationship and whatever it was, I did love him but I don't think he loved me at all. For what, he can break up with me over a text, yeah right, a text, and still tell me that he wished to stay friends. Oh right, he didn't even mention the break up word, now I just remembered that I was the one who spit out the words. Pathetic me. Now I come and think of it, everything he said to me is like a complete jackass bullshit.
I've come to a state that I am a lonely pity person in INTI. I sacrificed everything for him, and what I got for myself now? It's just pathetic. I was too easy and too kind to him, and other people too, and everybody else just take my kindness for granted.
After this pathetic first relationship I had, I became a not very sharing kind of person. Maybe I just don't want myself to get hurt again. I'm still on my way to find myself, because I don't know how to deal with people and how to talk to people anymore. I just don't want myself to be taken as granted. I think that I have a very big responsibility to protect myself from everyone. After all, I was hurt by the person I was once most care about and most trusted in.
Being in a relationship with him, I gave up lots of things and my principles. Including writing. I love writing and I think writing is the best way to express my thoughts and feelings. I will rather write than talk. I will start writing blogger again, maybe it's my way of healing.
I lose track of myself after this relationship ended, and yes I got hurt but that doesn't mean that I'm scared of being in a relationship. It's just right now, I think it's best to stay single and try to figure out the real me, the real person who I really am. I want to stay true to myself and be a happy person where once I was. Being in a relationship needs a lot of patience and time, and heart and everything. For the time being, I would like to live for myself, do whatever I like without concerning anyone. I'm taking a break from the whole hearts and flowers thingy.
Starting a new relationship right after a break up is known as a rebound, it's not a true feeling. Everybody just can't get over it so soon, they are just deceiving themselves in a new found relationship for the sake of hiding their true feelings. In fact, the new partner we got it's just a replacement for the ex.
I've given myself a time limit to stay in this 'healing mode' until the end of July. And then, I will start from the very beginning to find myself.
Whoever has been close to me already knew that we've broken up, except my family because I don't know how to tell them and don't know how to answer the series of questions that they might going to ask. It's already a month. Even though he said he told me the real reason why he wanted a break up, but I still don't buy that. You know, women have their sixth sense and I just got that feeling that the reason doesn't sound right. Whatever it is, it's just gone. It's ended. And there's no much to talk about.
I know I shouldn't have still pacing around here and holding grudge on that ridiculous break up (it's ridiculous to me), I should have just move on but honestly it's hard to let go. It's a one and a half year relationship and whatever it was, I did love him but I don't think he loved me at all. For what, he can break up with me over a text, yeah right, a text, and still tell me that he wished to stay friends. Oh right, he didn't even mention the break up word, now I just remembered that I was the one who spit out the words. Pathetic me. Now I come and think of it, everything he said to me is like a complete jackass bullshit.
I've come to a state that I am a lonely pity person in INTI. I sacrificed everything for him, and what I got for myself now? It's just pathetic. I was too easy and too kind to him, and other people too, and everybody else just take my kindness for granted.
After this pathetic first relationship I had, I became a not very sharing kind of person. Maybe I just don't want myself to get hurt again. I'm still on my way to find myself, because I don't know how to deal with people and how to talk to people anymore. I just don't want myself to be taken as granted. I think that I have a very big responsibility to protect myself from everyone. After all, I was hurt by the person I was once most care about and most trusted in.
Being in a relationship with him, I gave up lots of things and my principles. Including writing. I love writing and I think writing is the best way to express my thoughts and feelings. I will rather write than talk. I will start writing blogger again, maybe it's my way of healing.
I lose track of myself after this relationship ended, and yes I got hurt but that doesn't mean that I'm scared of being in a relationship. It's just right now, I think it's best to stay single and try to figure out the real me, the real person who I really am. I want to stay true to myself and be a happy person where once I was. Being in a relationship needs a lot of patience and time, and heart and everything. For the time being, I would like to live for myself, do whatever I like without concerning anyone. I'm taking a break from the whole hearts and flowers thingy.
Starting a new relationship right after a break up is known as a rebound, it's not a true feeling. Everybody just can't get over it so soon, they are just deceiving themselves in a new found relationship for the sake of hiding their true feelings. In fact, the new partner we got it's just a replacement for the ex.
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